July 03, 2008

what's the deal?!

Please forgive me in advance... I rarely, if ever, use my blog for ranting.  But sometimes... I just have to.

I am so sick and tired of the us vs. them mentality that has infected very aspect of life it seems.  You can't go anywhere or do anything lately without a dividing line being drawn in the middle of things.  You have the Christians vs. the Athiests, the conservatives from the liberals, the working moms vs. the stay at home moms, and more.  And it doesn't stop between the big groups.  It goes even further... denominations of Christianity bickering about others, politicaly you've got the uber conservatives frowning upon the other conservatives and God forbid if you are a liberal but not quite liberal enough.

I am so sick of everything being a competition to be known as not only a ____________ but the right type of ____________ as well.  I am sick of opening my email and finding forwards mocking others for their beliefs and condescendingly saying how stupid ________________ is.  I am sick of checking my myspace to see more political, social and religious propaganda.  There is no good in pushing others below you to prop yourself up high on some pedastool of self rightousness.  I believe in educating others, spreading valid information... but I don't believe in beating it trhough peoples heads or at the expense of entire groups of people.

I believe that we have to act with integrity and compassion.  We have to show a basic and human respect for others even when our beliefs are not shared... you can passionately and intellegently make a case.  But itellegence just doesn't exist when you are doing it with the same tone of mocking someone else.  We are who we are, we believe what we believe and we all make educated decisions using whatever guidepost directs our lives to get to our own conclusions.

Practice kindness.

Practice integrity.

Practice compassion.

Practive respect.

Practice peace.

In times that can be so scary... we could all use more of these and less of the bickering, the mockery and the anger.

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*steps off soapbox*

July 02, 2008

"Oh Beautiful" July My Kits and Pieces

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My guest designers gallery is up over at My Kits and Pieces now.  I was so happy and excited to guest design there this month when Rosy asked me if I would be willing, of course I said yes!

Using the "Oh Beautiful" kit I was able to create these two layouts and a set of 3 cards.  The best part?  With the exception of some cardboard, 2 letter stickers, a couple of sheets of cardstock, and using my tools, paints and ink on hand, I was able to create all of this from the kit!  AND I still have some to spare and another layout idea brewing in my mind.  Head on over there and pick up the kit and sit and stay awhile at the awesome message board.  You won't regret it!

I'll leave you with yesterdays 365 and Saturdays too:

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I love this one of me and Roslyn... I am exhausted and it shows, but it also shows the joy of having Roslyn back in my arms after a week at Grandmas... LOVE the look on her face!
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July 01, 2008

a piece of me

We spent the weekend at my mom's house this last weekend.  It was one of those much needed, good for the soul kind of times.  I really don't think that there is anything on this earth that can ground me as much as seeing and spending time with my mom.  She just gets me.  She knows when I am happy and excited, she knows when I am just getting by and she knows when to just let me be.  She never forces me to be anything other than what I am at any moment, but she magically inspires me to always be better.  And honestly, there is a piece of my soul that hurts everytime we have to say good bye and one of us drives away.  I miss my mom.  Every second of every day of my life that she is not in the room with me, I miss my mom.
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Roslyn got to spend a fun filled and joyful week at Grandmas this last week... such a blessing and gift.  To see her undying and enormous love for Roslyn fills my heart with more joy than it can hold and I am so grateful that she and I have my mom in our lives.  We are better people for it.

Honestly, this weekend and today and all of last week, I have just been doing my best to hold it all together.  Everytime I think that I can get back to normal, something makes me crumble all over again.  I see headlights on our road at 3 in the morning and I have a panic attack.  I can't sleep and when I finally pass out from the exhaustion I have nightmares.  I was learned yesterday that it completely shocked my brother that we took this step and that he said he will not bother us.  He doesn't want to go to jail and I hope that now I can begin to rest easier.  It just takes a toll on a person.

In the midst of all of this, I have had some big news to share.  But honestly, it got lost in the chaotic shuffle of life.

Starting last week I accepted the position of Design Team Coordinator for our local store, The Scrapbook Den.  I will be managing the design team, the class schedules and helping out with the store's blog and newsletters as well as returning to teaching myself.  I had quit teaching for the winter and spring this year for a much needed break but am so excited to be back.  To see old friends and students again and to be involved with helping make our scrapbook store something truly special.  One of the best things about this for me is that I will be getting to do the majority of work from home so I don't have to take much time away from my responsibilities here at home.  Kari has been a huge blessing and support with this new position and as a friend with everything happening when it has all been at such a crazy time in my life.  You can check out the store's site here: The Scrapbook Den.  Be on the lookout for the new blog to be launched this week and don't forget to sign up for the newsletters if you aren't signed up already! Here is a peek at the header for the new blog:
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Another fun thing that I have started doing and jumped on the bandwagon late for is the 365 project.  basically I am taking a picture of myself everyday.  I have always wanted to do this and thought that if I didnt start on January 1st I'd failed so I never did.  But i figured that we are halfway through the year and now is as good as time as any to start... I also think this will be a fun way to track my progress with Weight Watchers through pictures.  Here are a couple so far (started last friday):
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1/365 mmmmm... coffee.

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3/365 the list maker

Well... that's all I've got for now... be back later with some design work and more rambling ;-)
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June 29, 2008

mosaic of me

A FLICKR mosaic all about YOU.
Come on...try it!
Directions are below...

These photos answer the following questions about me:

1. What is your first name? Rachel
2. What is your favorite food? Tomatoes
3. What high school did you go to? Prescott High School
4. What is your favorite color? Mauve
5. Who is your celebrity crush? Johnny Depp
6. Something you collect? scrapbook supplies
7. Favorite dessert? cheesecake
8. Favorite flowers? pansies
9. What do you love most in life? my family
10. One Word to describe you. thoughtful
11. Dream vacation? Egypt
12. Your favorite holiday. Christmas

(click on the photo to enlarge)

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I saw this on the very talented Jennifer Stewarts blog tonight and thought it would be fun!  Bonus because I have always wanted to know how people do those flickr mosaics!

Here's how you do it:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions above into Flickr Search.
b. Pick an image you like of the ones that pop up.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd's mosaic maker.
(make sure your mosaic is 3 columns, 4 rows)
d. Right click on your mosaic and save it to photobucket, or your favorite hosting place.
e. Share it on your blog! The mosaic maker gives you the html to put under the mosaic on your blog so all of the links will show up.

Photo Credits:
1. rachel's faux rose, real light, 2. Star of the kitchen, 3. DSC_8390, 4. Mauve Twins, 5. Smoking, 6. Mini Stash kits, 7. cheesecake for Lianna!, 8. Fancy Pansy, 9. A Helping Hand, 10. Thoughtful, 11. Giza, 12. F e s t i v e*

June 27, 2008

sometimes God likes to pop me one on the head...

and say "YOU!  Listen up!  This is what I have to tell you!"

got this in my inbox today... so at the right time.

"Hardship and adversity can be an energizing force that motivates you to move beyond your comfort zone in order to accomplish more than you ever thought possible. Comfort and security can become a double-edged sword-on one hand, an easy mind is free to wander in the land of ideas; on the other, contentment is not a potent motivator. When you find yourself facing a great challenge or navigating a difficult period in life, your suffering can galvanize you and move you to actively pursue your goals. Your desire to move past hardship can become the wellspring from which inspiration flows, giving you the strength and vitality to achieve your most ambitious aims. The uncertainty you face today will help you address your day's tasks with greater efficiency and creativity."

I must remember that God is in control.  If he puts me through it, he WILL see me through it. 

Honestly, I struggle with the letting him help me thing.  I don't like anyone having control over my life... because then I don't have that control.  And you want to know a secret?

*whispers*.... I'm a control freak.

yup, I admit it.  I like things CONTROLLED.  And the best way I know for things to be controlled is to control them myself.  I think that that is part of what has been so hard with the situation with my brother.  I don't control it.  Not one bit.  At first I was giving him control by allowing him to infect my life.  And then I had to give control over getting him to stop to a judge.  And now the control is with the constable who will serve him his papers.  I *can't* control any of it and frankly, that makes me twitch just a bit.

BUT!  I *can* control how I let this affect ME.  I can wallow.  I can mope.  I can hide.

Or I can fight like hell to make my life the one that I want it to be.  I can take steps each and every day to reach my goals and to acheive the life that I want and deserve.  No more moping.  No more hiding.  It's time to be productive, time to be inspired, time to be motivated and time to take my own power back.  I can surrender my fear of what will happen next and give that to God.  He has a plan.  And he is using this to keep me motivated and inspired.

And am I the only one who has an image of God in my head like this?
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I think I watch too many movies lol.  Better than Alanis Morrisette a la "Dogma" I suppose ;)

Moving on... lol.

Working on some design stuff... be on the lookout for it at the beginning of the month over at PHutch Sketches

Also working on my new mini album in the works... an obsessive ode to the Jimmy Eat World concert and all things Jimmy Eat World.  I am seriously LOVING how it is coming up... having so much fun just playing with my supplies and doing some new stuff... like using actual CDs in it (blank of course... no Jimmy Eat World CDs will be harmed in the making of my book)... here is the cover so far

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and if you flip the CD over...
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and a couple shots of the inside...
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well y'all... that is all I have for tonight (ummm... this morning? It's 2:38 in the freaking a.m. and I am still wired!).  I'm going to scrap and hopefully make something pretty and inspiring.  Thank you again for all of your support and kindness... y'all ROCK!
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June 25, 2008

sometimes you just have to laugh when all you want to do is cry

It's been a day.  A day I never cared to experience and a day that I would rather forget.  To make a long and painful over a decade long story short, Drew and I had to get orders of protection against my alcoholic brother.

I hate and am so scared that it came to that... but it had to be done.  And what is done is done and there is no going back.  i'm proud that I was strong enough to do, saddened that there was ever a need and hopeful that maybe life can resume a healthy level of broing-ness.

To top all of that off... as I was literally standing up from my desk to go to the courthouse this morning, my computer decided that it was his time to pass onto the big computer scrapheap in the sky.  The whole thing shutdown and would not turn on again.  Thank God for external drives and CD backups of everything or you would have seen me as headline news for going on a rampage of some sort.

A trip to rent one while we decide which one to buy, a meeting, a whole lot of tears, a whole lot of thrown things and whole lot of singing angry songs at the top of my lungs and here I am... blogging while chuckling to mysef a bit.  Because this day was so long, so tiring, so painful, maddening and pathetic that all I can do is laugh that I got dumped on today. 

Thank you for your prayers and love... your kindness and love gave me strength.  Stay tuned for something good in the next couple of days... I need good and I can't have it unless I share it.  thank you again sweet friends!

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*please pray*

in the morning I am having to take a step I thought I could avoid.

I am scared.

I feel weak.

it's not something that I *want* to do.

but I have to be strong.  I have to be brave.  I have to protect myself, my husband and most importantly my daughter.

the cycle of abuse has to end and it is ending tomorrow.

I can't take it anymore and I WON'T take it anymore.

I am so sorry to be so cryptic... but for now I must.  I must guard my privacy.  After it is done I will share, I will open up and begin to heal.  But for now I have to be guarded, safe, strong and brave.  I have to take control of my life.  NOW.

please pray for our courage and strength and that God's love will guide us every step of the way.

thank you.

June 23, 2008

...and part of it was mine...

(nabbed this style of blogpost tonight from the insanely fun and talented Ashley Wren... loved it and seemed to be the best way to organize any and all of my thoughts.)

Drinking: FUSE refresh Peach Mango.  Yum.

Listening to: The playlist I made of the setlist of the Jimmy Eat World concert.  Yay for internet and finding virtually ANYTHING on it.  Woo.  Current song playing is "Big Casino" off of Chase This Light.  Seriously... go buy that album if you don't have it.  Like, NOW.

Reading: Not a thing at the moment.  I do have The Host to start.  Just have to find the time to be allowed to be fully immersed in a book and not have to do anything else.

Relieved about: Being done with moving of the scraproom or studio as some like to call it.  And that I have been successfully on Weight Watchers for 6 days and it hasn't been that bad.

Missing: My Mom... luckily I get to see her tomorrow when we drop off Roslyn with her.  I miss my Kristin friend too.  And I miss my Crystal friend.

Not digging: The fact that not every night is a Jimmy Eat World concert night.  I seriously feel like a kid on December 26th... what's there to look forward to lol?  It was AMAZING.

Thankful for: My beautiful family.  My amazing and beautiful and kind daughter.  My handsome and devoted and loving husband.  My strong and beautiful and inspiring mother.  Art.  Jimmy Eat World concerts.

Planning: Lots of art, lots of travel.

Reliving: The Jimmy Eat World concert.  Listening to the setlist playlist brings it all back. 

Daydreaming about: Disneyland, art, travel.

Putting off: Laundry and packing Roslyn up for the week to go stay with my mom.  I hate it when she is gone!

Finally accomplished: Starting Weight Watchers... moving my scrap room around... importing my new Jimmy Eat World CD... organizing my desk drawers.

Scrapping with: The July kit from My Kits and Pieces for my guest designing spot there.  Also with Patti's sketches for July and my big ol' box of scraps.  Current scrappy projects are: July Kits and Pieces goodies, PHutch sketch projects and a new lovey mini album (seen on video blog below) and my "I'm Changing" mini album/art journal/journal.

Sharing: some random pics from the Jimmy Eat World concert... sick of me talking about it yet?  I'm not! :D

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Drew and I on the way to the show.
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me in the car on the way to the show and one of my fav pics of the show... during the Encore.

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this is one of the clearer shots... just wish that you could see Jim better but we had a couple of massive tools in front of us who prefered talking to eachother throughout the whole show than actually watching the show.  Sinners and blasphemers I tell ya.

and now some scrappy pics!

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the mini album/art journal/journal I am working on and some inside pages.

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and this is the cover to a mini album I am working on...
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and a sketch book/idea book/notebook I made to carry around with me for when ideas strike...
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this is how I have decided to organize all those loose flowers I have been accumulating and the left overs from my Cafe Prima kits... by color in the little plastic drawers!  I love my tower of flowers lol. 
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and finally... have you seen THIS ETSY SHOP???? AMAZING! I was so inspired and drooling over so many of her items that I knew I had to play and see if I could come up with even a shred of beauty like hers in a piece of jewelery.  I am for sure going to be making an order, probably more than one.  I LOVE her style and her work is just flawless... do go over and there and check her work out!  GORGEOUS!  Here is what I came up with to wear while I wait to place an order for the real thing...
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As always, thanks for pulling up a chair and reading my ramblings.  I hope that y'all had a great weekend and have a wonderful week.  Roslyn will be out of town until we pick her up on Saturday... hoping to distract myself from missing her by getting lots done.

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June 19, 2008

video blogging

Thought I would try this out... tfl! :-*

Video Blog